If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know I am fairly open about my struggles and survival.
And if you know me IRL, you know I never hesitate to jump on a stage and speak to an audience. Or to speak in front of a group of any size, for any reason.
It’s logical, then, to assume I would have no problem speaking to a group about surviving domestic violence.
WRONG.
I’ve been open about my survival in writing more than any other medium. Yes I’ve spoken to some of you individually, but never a large group. Or even a group of just 20 or so.
I did just that for the first time on February 26th. A few sentences, spoken rapidly, disjointedly, in a trembly voice. Eyes downcast, almost as if I were ashamed. I’m not pleased with myself for acting this way.
I still wonder from time to time why it all happened; you know, if there was a purpose. That whole “everything happens for a reason.”
And if that reason was to put a voice and a face to DV-is my purpose to write about it as opposed to speak?
Should I push myself, or as in yoga-take a step back, a deep inhale, a long slow even exhale, and see what unfolds?