(originally published 1/16/08)

This is what’s irking me to no end lately….assholes in large vehicles. And when I say “large vehicle”, I don’t mean a normal sedan, a normal van, or a normal truck. I’m talking about those big fuckin’, gas-guzzlin’, ready to roll-the-fuck-over-you-if-you-don’t-get-the-HELL-out-the-way vehicles. The real big Hummers that have no business on a regular road. The too-huge-for-anyone-but-the-Brady- Bunch SUVs. The super-cab, jacked-the-fuck-up-for-no-discernable-reason trucks. The vehicles that, like just about everything else today, are super-sized with no real forethought or reason.

I apologize in advance to friends and family who drive these type of vehicles. At the same time, I urge you to read this post to the end with an open mind, and keep these things in mind as you drive.

I drive a small sports car. It has two doors, and is low to the ground. I don’t need or want a bigger car. It doesn’t make SENSE for me to get a larger car. I have just as much right not only to BE on the road as a larger vehicle, but I also have the right to SEE as I am driving.

Case in point. On my way home tonight, we all have our headlights on because it’s dark. I’m zipping along, when a huge-ass SOMETHING comes up close behind me…..and I’m momentarily blinded because their headlights are even with my rear window, and when they shine in, they hit all of my mirrors and the reflection literally blinds me. I have a car in front of me that I could have easily hit because I was blinded with no warning. I rear-end the dude in front of me and whose fault is it? MINE….even though I was blinded so quickly I had no time to react. Luckily I took my car out of gear and slowed down before I hit the guy in front of me. The dude behind me is RELENTLESS, however. I try to move my car in such a way that these lights are not shining in, and the guy behind me moves HIS car so that his lights DO shine in. We go on and on like this for several miles, until I’m able to pass the car in front of me and leave that asshole far behind.

This is not the first time this has happened. In fact, there is such a preponderance of these extra-large SUVs on the road, this same thing happens almost every time I drive after dark. No wonder why I try not to drive at night! I just don’t know if they are unaware of the havoc they cause when they pull up too close behind a small car, or if they just don’t care. I can’t help but wonder if these are the bullies who shook down other kids for lunch money on the playground. No more lunch money, no more playground….now they can bully others on the road with their super-duper, extra-grande SUVs.

I am well aware that the easy answer would be for me to pull over and let the SUV pass. But why??? Why should I pull over because someone else’s headlights don’t allow me to see the road clearly? I was there first; why can’t they BACK THE FUCK UP???

So please, if you drive one of these, remember this if you should happen to pull up behind a smaller car. Your headlights are just about even with that back window. Those lights shine in, and hit that rearview, and it’s instant blindness for the driver. Back up, just a little bit, and share the road.