Some random thoughts, I think…

I don’t promote my blog in any way. I don’t have any advertising, I don’t have business cards with my URL, and I don’t think I talk about it much. Some of my Facebook and Instagram followers have found my website, but I don’t think I have any “organic” followers.

Tonight I gave out my URL to several potential new followers during a group meeting. Funny how it came about. We were discussing things we were proud of ourselves for, and things we’ve promised ourselves. I mentioned that I’ve promised myself to keep up with my writing, my website, and my blog.

Ears and eyes perked up around the room, and I was asked for the URL. I felt my face get hot, and it took most of my willpower not to pull my shirt collar up over my face (which has become my go-to move when I can’t literally “hide”). There was no hiding. There was no way to deflect. These folks genuinely were interested and curious. So, I gave out this site’s address, and wondered just how many people would actually look up the website. A couple people asked what my blog was about, and instead of delving into the details of how and why I started it, I said that it was based on some of my life experiences and things I struggle with.

As I drove home, I realized that the bulk of my writing could be considered negative, or based on negative experiences. If I am trying to grow into a better person, how am I serving my growth and healing by wallowing in the negative experiences of the past? At this point, wouldn’t it serve me better to write about some of the more positive things in my life?

And that’s what this post is about. This is written tonight, 9:30 pm on 11/12/19. This will be published immediately, with little to no editing (spelling and grammar only). Taking a cue from this evening’s meeting, I have an awful lot to be grateful for.

I don’t see them often enough, and they don’t live close enough, but I have a circle of good, true, close friends. I call them my tribe. A core group of folks who are decent people, who I can turn to for advice or a laugh or a chat when needed. Over the past year I ferreted out a couple of bad friends, but it made me appreciate the good ones even more. Some of them are friends from childhood and high school. Some are friends I got to know as an adult. No matter, I am fortunate to have these people in my life.

I have a great job. I don’t make a lot of money, but I can pay my bills. More importantly, I have a true passion for my work and I believe in what I do. I love my job, and I feel very fortunate that I was able to return to school and enter a career I love. Like most lines of work there are negative aspects, but I get to meet and interact with a variety of people. Some of them I even have the privilege of helping.

I look back over some of the things I’ve been through, and DAMN I am a tough chick!! I am resourceful and strong, and no matter what life has thrown at me, I’ve managed to land on my feet. That’s something I’ve tried to keep in the front of my mind over the roller coaster this past year. I am stronger than I think I am, and I’ve handled just about everything the best way I could at the time. Is my life perfect? Depends on how you define perfection, I suppose. I have just enough to work for to keep things challenging, and enough good things to keep me fairly happy most of the time. I’ve created a life on my own that I can be proud of. I make plenty of mistakes-who doesn’t-and I try my best to learn what I can from them.

I have a roof over my head, food in my fridge, decent health, a car to drive, and the use of all five senses. I have books to read, a decent education, and the beach is just a short walk away. I have people who love and care about me, and people to love and care FOR.

Despite the best (??) efforts of bad, negative, and/or toxic people, I am here today. I am alive. I didn’t just survive my past, I surTHRIVED and I continue to do so.