Close examination of yourself is like cleaning out your closet. And I mean a thorough cleaning. Pulling the hidden stuff out of the back, examining it, and trying EVERY. DAMN. THING. on to see if any of it still fits.
A series of recent conversations with an old acquaintance/new friend (yes there is a difference, and that’s another blog for another time) made me realize that I’ve become complacent. Areas in my life where I should not be complacent…and shouldn’t settle. I shouldn’t lose myself again.
It’s been a long time since someone held a mirror up to me AND got me to look into it. And like that thorough closet cleaning, I have to pull everything out and look at it. I have to make sure it still fits with who I am today. Are there things that can be adjusted-like pants that are a little too long and need to be hemmed? Are there things that are so hideous that I have no earthly idea how I ended up with them-like a crazy skirt for a night out that never happened? Those things need to GO. What about things that may have served you in the past, but are no longer relevant-like a shirt purchased for a waitressing job…four jobs ago. Or, things that you hang on to because they have sentimental value, or you’ve had them so long you don’t know how to begin to get rid of them-like your grandmother’s fur hat that doesn’t fit your head. Those things are harder to get rid of. Like certain personality traits or life aspects that no longer serve you…or that don’t match who you want to be…or life circumstances that have become unpleasant or even unbearable. We become used to those things, and have made adjustments in life to accommodate them…like those too-long pants that you roll up instead of getting them hemmed. Or that shirt you will NEVER wear. It’s taking up space in the back of your closet. Same as personality traits or situations that are…well, they aren’t part of who you’ve become, and even though there is discomfort…it’s so damn hard to let those things go.
And, as hard as it is to let these things go-we have to in order to grow and change. The only constant in life is change. Change keeps us from complacency. I think complacency is the killer of passion. And I refuse to live my life without passion.