I used to dream regularly. Many were vivid, and most times I’d remember them to write them down the next day. After enduring many nightmares, my dreaming mind seemed to have shut down for the most part. I now seldom dream, but when I do, it’s both vivid and memorable.
A dream I had recently appeared innocuous on the surface, but after some thought, I find it unsettling. Or what it implies is disturbing to me. Anyway…
My dream begins as I’m traveling with a group of people to an unknown location. I don’t know any of these people. Through talking to them, I learn we’ve all been selected to help a struggling community. The catch is that we leave our homes, families, everything familiar to us…with no notice. And we aren’t allowed any communication for two years. It’s insinuated that we are traveling far enough that no one and nothing we know will be around when our two year communication ban is up. Almost as if we are time traveling, or traveling light years away.
Thinking I’m clever (as usual) I pull out a hidden cell phone…only to find it blank. No contacts, social media, pictures…. nothing.
We’ve basically been raptured, because as far as those we left behind know, we’ve vanished without a trace and no explanation.
People around me were wishing they could call someone, let someone know what happened. They lamented the fact that they’d left loved ones behind without so much as a goodbye.
It was only after reflection a day or so later, I realized I was the only one in the dream who had no one to call. No one who would miss my presence. To get a little more ‘out there’ no one who would miss my essence, personality, spirit, soul…whatever. It made me feel empty, and I realized I failed at one of the most important things in life…human relationships.
It is important to know this is how I feel. I’m not laying blame; there’s no one to blame but me. I guess I’m wondering…like why do I feel this way? What is WRONG with me?? And…what’s wrong with me, really? :,( because the common denominator in all my failures is me.